university blues.

If there is one thing I can't get out of my mind, it's results day. I have never dreaded a day so much in my life. The fact that that day, I will be finding out the results of my A Levels that pretty much determine the rest of my life. I need 280 UCAS points to get into the university I have chosen (Leeds Met to do Journalism), and I need at least 180 out of that from two A Levels. I took two A Levels (Performing Arts and Spanish) and two AS' (English Language and Global Perspectives). On top of this, I took a drama exam in november which gave me 65 UCAS points which is good. 

I think I've done well in my A Levels, despite the nightmare I had with my Performing Arts teacher (she was inconsistent and so unhelpful beyond belief). The only thing is, I also need my maths GCSE, which to date, I have failed twice. I just can't do it. I've retaken it again this year, but I'm still not sure whether I've passed it. 

The day is getting closer and closer and it's terrifying me. I want to go to university so badly, I've always wanted to live on my own and be independent and have my own life. Plus, getting away from my bickering mother and sister would be so great, even though I'd miss them both.

Then there's everything with Elliot. I've been with him for nearly a year now and leaving him is going to be heartbreaking. We're still undecided about whats going to happen, but I think we both know that we're going to give it a try. He's got another year of A Levels yet. I can't wait to see him tomorrow, we're going to go to the chippy on the beachfront and it's going to be lovely. 

Today it's rained for the first time in months and as soon as I heard it I ran outside faster than you could say "cock". I just stood there for ages, sometimes it feels like I live in sahara desert or something.

Even thought I'm feeling a bit nervous about all this university stuff, I know Elliot is going to cheer me up, and I can't wait. 

Elliot and my little sister.